You're Almost Dead
by Yana Phoenix
Summary: Malik is still broken and upset after the loss of his brother, Kadar Al-Sayf. He decides to go up a mountain on a cold winter night but the snow is colder than expected and the mountain is deserted. Malik loses the will to live, he can't see the meaning of life any more. Is there anything left for him in this life? What will he do?


It was a clear night and Malik looked up to the stars that filled the night sky. The view was beautiful but Malik could not smile at the beauty before him. His eyes filled with tears and he looked down to his feet which were rested on top of thick snow. The silence was deafening, the only sounds he could hear were his own sobs. He gripped the rock that he was sitting on and looked down from the mountain edge. He could see a Jerusalem, it looked small from where he was and even though there were many lights and buildings the city seemed empty. His hand suddenly felt cold, he let go of the rock and breathed into his hands to warm them, he saw his own breath as he breathed heavily. He was glad to be away from the city, he needed to be alone. No one understood his pain, he once tried to reach out for support from a fellow assassin. It was in the bureau

"Is everything alright?" a novice assassin had asked him "You look unwell." Malik would usually have shrugged and insisted that he was okay but he had hidden his pain for too long.

"My brother…" he started but he felt his voice going weak "he's... Gone." Malik had to stop talking to catch his breath. He refused to cry in front of a stranger "I don't know what to do anymore." he said but his voice came out in an unexpected sob and he hid his face and held his breath to try and hide his pain from the assassin. The assassin seemed annoyed to be in the situation

"Well… people die all the time. You should be used to it by now. My father died but crying didn't bring him back. And we kill templars all the time, do you never think about their families?" The assassin said not seeming to care about Malik's condition

"He was my only family!" Malik shouted feeling disgusted at the assassin's lack of compassion and humanity. The assassin was silent and stared at Malik surprised at his anger but also half expecting an apology for being shouted at. He sighed

"I have a mission to do. Bye" and then he quickly left. Malik had never felt so alone and as soon as the assassin left he lay on the floor and did nothing for hours. There was nothing to do, there was no point in doing anything, his life seemed so empty. It seemed pointless to Malik to do anything because at the end of it all he will die. _People die all the time_ he thought, so what's is there left to live for?

Malik shook his head from the memory and looked back at the city. How could a place full of people still feel so lonely? He looked further down the mountain, it was a long way down. He wished he had not scolded his brother so much and appreciated his time with his brother more while he could. But Kadar was gone and there was nothing he could do about it, he felt so powerless. He wanted to watch his younger brother grow up and rank to a master assassin, he was very good at training and he was expected to be the best warrior in Masyaf. Malik wished he could see his brother meet a nice girl, fall in love, get married and have a family. Malik would have loved to be an uncle but now this possibility was gone. He remembered once his brother had said that he would name his first son 'Tazim' because it meant 'Honour' and he liked the name. He said that it was an honourable name and then both Malik and Kadar had laughed. More tears rolled down Malik's cheeks now as he realised he will never have moments like that with his brother ever again. He will never see his brother ever again, never hear his cheerful laugh again or see his smile. Malik felt weak and cold, he knew the mountain was colder than the city but he had forgotten about the snow on the mountain. He lay down and curled into a ball to warm up, he did not want to go back to the city yet, no one understood him in the city. He did not wipe the tears from his face because they felt warm. He heard the snow crunch behind him, he immediately sat up. He had not expected anyone to be on the mountain with him. He looked behind him to see a figure walking away from him. He quickly wiped his tears and sniffled

"Who are you?" he asked "How long have you been here?" he felt a little stronger, his voice convinced him. The figure stopped walking and looked back at Malik. The moon lit up his face, his dark hair shone and his amber eyes seemed to glow. It was Kadar. Malik's heart raced, he tried to speak but no sound came out of his mouth. He was bewildered, it was impossible. Kadar was dead, he saw it happen before him. Malik's legs felt weak, he took a shaky step towards his brother. Kadar smiled sweetly and then started walking away again. Malik did not take his eyes off Kadar, he then realised he may not have the opportunity to see him again. "Kadar!" he shouted and he ran after his brother. His brother also started running faster and he turned to run behind a tree out of sight. Malik ran to the tree but Kadar had completely disappeared. Malik started breathing heavily now and his heart was pounding. He looked around wildly for Kadar but there was no one there. Tears filled his eyes again and he sank to his knees, he missed his brother so much and it tortured him that he couldn't see him again. Malik felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, he turned and saw Kadar crouched behind him still smiling. "Am I dead?" he asked Kadar. Kadar stopped smiling

"You're almost dead…" he sighed "Why are you up here? It's cold, you're slowly freezing!" he scolded

"I miss you and I needed to be alone." Malik mumbled

"I know you miss me… I've been watching you. It breaks my heart to see you suffer like this brother." Kadar frowned

"I should have done more to protect you. It should have been me who died."

"Don't blame yourself. You did everything you could, it was my own fault for not mastering my defence tactics" Kadar smiled. Malik pulled his brother into a tight hug, he felt his brother's warmth, he could smell his brother's scent. He always smelled like freshly baked bread, it was a nice smell. "Malik, you can grieve for me, that's understandable but this is extreme. You're not eating, you're not sleeping and you don't talk to your friends anymore. I'm really worried for you, please promise me that you'll look after yourself more." Kadar sighed, Malik could feel his brother's breath.

"Nothing is the same anymore. I can't eat or sleep. Everything I love is gone."

"That's not true. I know you love to draw, I know that you love to study, I know that you really value your friends and I know about that girl in Masyaf who used to bring you fresh water when you were training. Just because you're far away from your friends and your old life in Masyaf it doesn't mean that your life is over. Al Mualim sent you to Jerusalem to give you a fresh start and a chance to find happiness. Please take this opportunity to live a better life. This world is a beautiful place and even though there are many things to die for there is so much more to live for. The world can be a very lonely place but just when you think that things are really bad something good happens and it changes the way you see the world into something beautiful. It makes you want to be a good person and spread happiness and change the world. Please brother, I want to see you smile again. You deserve to be happy more than anyone I know." Kadars words truly came from the heart and Malik was touched by this. He let Kadar out of his embrace

"I will look after myself better. I promise." Malik replied feeling comforted. He felt understood for the first time in a long time

"Good. Now you should really wake up before you freeze to death and my little speech was for nothing" Kadar winked

"Thank you brother. Just know that there's not a day where I don't think about you."

"You too. Also I was a little bit happy that you're half dead because I didn't think I would get the opportunity to talk to you again. But now I'm concerned so wake up!" he shouted. Malik tried to wake up but Kadar was still in front of him

"I don't know how." he said feeling scared

"Forgive me." Kadar said and he quickly slapped Malik across the face.

Malik gasped violently and opened his eyes. He saw Jerusalem in the distance and he sat up from where he had lay down in the snow. He was breathing heavily as if just waking up from a nightmare.

"Thank god you're alive." a voice said. Malik looked left to see Altair on his knees next to him. "Are you okay?" he asked. Malik could see that Altair was anxious

"How did you find me?" Malik asked surprised.

"I couldn't find you at the bureau, no one knew where you were. I thought you were going to kill yourself. I've been searching for you everywhere." he said, his voice was shaky

"I just needed to be alone" Malik shivered, he felt extremely cold

"Do you have any idea how much you scared me" Altair growled. He took off his robe and wrapped it around Malik to warm him up. Altair only had his trousers but the cold did not bother him "Next time tell someone where you're going before you disappear."

"I'm sorry." Malik said, a tear falling from his right eye. Even though Altair seemed angry he was happy that someone cared about what happened to him

"You're freezing. Come on, let's get you inside." Altair dragged Malik towards the horse. Malik felt lucky to have a good friend who noticed when he was gone. He knew that Altair could understand him because both assassins had no family left. Malik decided that even though Altair did not share the same blood, they were brothers.


End file.
